The Human Fish
A catalogue of the internal battles from the The Chris Gethard ShowWinner: Bad tilapia at Bad Tilapialooza
Winner: Patty "The Beef" Devoe
Winner: Don Jon
Winner: Casino Royale
Winner: Sleeping with Juan eye open
Winner: Christmas moose
Winner: Jamba Juice
Winner: Orange Blueberry Fish Razzmatazz, available for the month of July
Banana Berry Human Fish, sold only in the month of August at our 140 locations in Uptown, Downtown, Midtown and in the West vs Two bears
Winner: Come to our 140 locations, Banana Berry Human Fish
Winner: 100 shekels
Winner: Do whatever you want
Winner: Tangerine Madness
Winner: Blueberry Bombastic Bush
16 ounces of prime Maine oysters, smoothed together in a blender with bananas and raspberries vs Nothin' at all
Winner: No winner
Winner: Uncle Stan says he worked on Fifth Avenue
Winner: Gif [gif]
Winner: Well David Bluvband is our lord and savior and he has risen and has atoned for all of your sins. So that's what I'm going with.
Winner: Shitbox fun
I just wanted to say what a journey this has been since the first episode when Don couldn't do this, to now, where we filmed a pilot for Comedy Central, we've done almost 200 episodes, and now Don's built a house vs The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Winner: The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Winner: Malaysian airline
Winner: The circus
Winner: Nervous
Winner: Nacho Furtado
Winner: I dub thee the Track Suit Enforcer
Winner: Nightmare on Elm Street
Winner: Terracotta army
Winner: Packing peanuts
Winner: The Glass Menagerie
David Bluvband once dressed up as Duke Ellington in blackface on Halloween as a child vs Bears
Winner: David Bluvband once dressed up as Duke Ellington in blackface on Halloween as a child
Winner: David Bluvband once hooked up with a married woman
Winner: Fuck R.E.M.
Winner: Bears
Winner: Already regretting this idea
Winner: Cthulhu Dreadnought of the Deep
Winner: Holy shit, they're married!
Winner: Sonic the Hedgehog
Winner: R.L. Stine's "Goosebumps"
Winner: Ray's Doing Bad
Winner: Mo' Money, Mo' Problems
Winner: @ChrisJizzhard
Winner: Salt-n-Pepa
Winner: It's a typo
Winner: Grow up
Winner: Mr. Horma is my name
Winner: I'll never tell
Winner: Marvin the Near-Sighted Madman
Winner: Lou Reed
Winner: Dog counterparts always win: Rover Dangerfield
Winner: The dog version of John Leguizamo
Winner: Kid N Play
Winner: Griffan New Man
Winner: House Party 5
Winner: Rasputin
Winner: Mary Tyler no mo'
Winner: Crouching Tiger
Winner: Should give up
Has a future in synchronized swimming vs Couldn't keep up with any individual creature in the sea
Winner: Couldn't keep up, he's too old
Winner: Doesn't fucking matter
Winner: Cool Runnings
Winner: Hidden The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
Winner: Omar comin'
Winner: McNulty
Winner: Baltimore, no spoilers!
Winner: Dizzy Show
Winner: Not the mole
Winner: The Glass Menagerie
Winner: I got a question for you Calstead: are you ready to die? vs Midnight Cowboy
Winner: Ger Stevens
Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space vs Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains
Winner: Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains
Winner: Miracle Whip
Winner: Ger Stevens
Winner: Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains
Winner: The Diary of Anne Frank
Winner: Fish kiss
Winner: Connor
Winner: We'll take it to the couch anytime
Winner: Thumbs down
Winner: Mike O'Malley
Winner: Sausage fiesta
Winner: Worst
Winner: Regretting it
Winner: I can't read
Winner: Sporks
Winner: The Jets
Winner: Oskar Schindler
Winner: The Board of Education
Winner: Desperate pleasures
Winner: Micky Dolenz tattoos
Winner: Vomit
Winner: Don Quixote
Winner: Ahhhhh, Ruuuuuuudy
Winner: Gethard
Winner: OWWWW NO GET IT AWAY GET IT AWAY
Winner: Dirty thirty
Winner: It smells
Winner: The Game of Life
Winner: Road Rules
I just want to say, to harp on what Chris said earlier, your friend who's really good at soccer, it might not be her thing forever, like Chris's thing wasn't improv for the rest of his life and you're gonna find something; it's gonna be an ebb and flow. Some days that'll make you happy, some days it won't, but nobody has one thing for the rest of their life vs Smoke weed everyday, kid
Winner: Smoke weed everyday, kid
Winner: Beyoncé Knowles
Winner: Dougie from Connecticut
Winner: Gold Diggers of 1937
Winner: Man Behind The Plant: Fictional
Winner: We'll see them all again!
Winner: Douglas Adams
Winner: Regina George
Winner: Dinosaur III
Winner: Gif [jif]
Winner: Petunia
Winner: Welcome Random Maxine
Winner: Dazed and Confused
Winner: The Jonestown Massacre
Winner: It's been awhile
Winner: Sandwich Night
Winner: First time having a sandwich
Winner: Smallpox
Winner: Monte Cristo
Winner: Pun
Winner: Eat this sandwich
Winner: Needs more hotsauce
Winner: I just shit a brick
Winner: Jersey Dave
Winner: Bin Laden
Winner: They're both fake
Winner: A dick with stitches
Winner: Smoke weed everyday
Winner: Obese Oscar
Winner: Are You Afraid of the Dark?
Winner: Phish the band
Winner: Sweet 16 parties
Winner: Wedding receptions
Winner: Wedding receptions
Winner: Wedding receptions
Winner: Wedding receptions
Winner: Chimp
Winner: Nick Nolte
Winner: I knew that fish.
Winner: I'm going to miss him.
Winner: John Cena
Winner: Murph
Winner: Tom Selleck
Winner: Grumpy human fish
Winner: Pttttthhhhhhhhhh
Winner: Heath Ledger's Joker
Winner: Either
Winner: Sheep tongues
Winner: Undecided
Winner: Dom Deluise
Winner: Human Fish
Winner: Chain
Winner: Faker
Winner: No Direction Home
Carly Rae loves her fans: Call me maybe singer Carly Rae jepsen was floored by how many fans came out to meet her and watch her perform in Mexico City for a concert. The star is now prepping a tour with fellow Canadian pal Justin bieber, she'll be the opening act on the believe your this year. Roshon album deets: Shake it up's Roshon fegen signed copies of his his EP I am Roshon while at NYC event then stopped by the twist offices to spill all about his music. I'm focusing a lot on my singing and now just showing how much I am involved in my music and how much I love it, I produce and write it all so it's all me! He tells twist. Inside ariannas home: ari brainstorms projects at her desk at home and were loving how her wall is covered in fan mail, just goes to show you how much she truly appreciates your support. Twist recently hung out with ari and the victorious gang in Orlando, Florida check out the fun on page 16. vs A Couple of Frogs
Winner: A Couple of Frogs
Winner: Millie
Winner: John Wayne Gacy
Winner: Corey Feldman
Winner: Owls!
Winner: John Cryer
Winner: Annoying teenagers
Winner: Yeah
Winner: Cipha Sounds
Winner: Tommy Tune
Winner: Scott Adsit
Winner: Corn holes
Winner: Nermal
Winner: Preparation H
Winner: Wade
Winner: Warren Zevon
Winner: Dustin Hoffman
Winner: Baltimore that song
Winner: Random Ellen
Winner: Randy Quaid
Winner: Chris Gethard as a host
Winner: Annie Hall
Winner: Stephen Colbert
Winner: Dru
Winner: Alfred Hitchcock
Winner: Giant heterosexual
Winner: Birthday surprise
Winner: Egg-style fish birth
Winner: 32-year-old Chris Gethard
Winner: Boy-oh-boy it's your birthday!
Winner: Can you dig it?
Winner: Shawarma beef
Winner: Bethany Hall
Winner: What happens to me in the future
Winner: Iron Man
Winner: Taye Diggs
Winner: Willie Nelson
Winner: Tupac Shakur
Winner: Tupac Shakur hologram
Winner: Jean-Luc Godard
Winner: Spiro Agnew
Winner: Lee Harvey Oswald
Winner: Undecided
Winner: New York
Winner: Stock Market
Winner: Love
Winner: Chandler from Friends
Winner: Double Agent
Winner: Right
Winner: 4
Winner: Pasta Fazul
Winner: Grape Ape
Winner: Gary Oldman
Winner: Killer bees
Winner: Dry ice
Finding a dead clown in your home every single day vs Starring in a pornographic film with your own parents
Winner: Finding a dead clown in your home every single day
Winner: No haircuts
Winner: Hanukkah menorah
Winner: Hintmaster shirt
Winner: Tony the Tiger
Winner: Potato shirts
Winner: Multiple Man
Winner: Plates
Winner: Fresh water
Winner: Aquaman
Winner: Good
Winner: Harlot
Winner: Pablo Escobar
Winner: The Oscars
Winner: Polar bears
Winner: Susan B. Anthony
Winner: Shannon O'Neill
And to think all this time I thought David Guetta was black vs Jamie Lee Curtis will always play a divorced mom because of her haircut, digestive problems, and penis
Winner: Jamie Lee Curtis will always play a divorced mom because of her haircut, digestive problems, and penis
Winner: Jeep Grand Cherokee
Winner: Lea Michele
Winner: HPV
Winner: Chicken linguini
Winner: The fox trot
Winner: Iron Maiden
Winner: Jerry Garcia
Winner: Das Boot
Winner: Cynthia Nixon
Winner: The Art of War
Winner: Whitney Houston's cocaine
Winner: Mmmmmmmmmm giiiiiiirl
Winner: The letter G
Winner: Eli Manning
Winner: Mad skills
Winner: Paper
Winner: Paper
Winner: Wild Hogs
Winner: Connor Ratliff
Winner: Novacain
Winner: Leaving the gas on
Winner: Bareback
Winner: Tin Tin
Winner: Griiiiiiiiiiizz
Winner: Grizzabeth Short
Winner: AskJeeves
Winner: Not to be
Winner: I have grievances
Winner: Ruin this show
Winner: Bethany Hall
Winner: George Stefanopolis
Winner: Take a call later
Winner: Hand sanitizer
Winner: Bell's palsy
Winner: Watching your dog get hit by a car
Winner: Space Jam the movie
Winner: The Larry Sanders Show
Winner: Papa Beaver's Story Time
Winner: Big ol' bouncy butt
Winner: Brunette
Winner: Making love in the ocean
Winner: Loneliness
Winner: Not good
Winner: Bad basketball
Winner: Barry White
Winner: The Toon Squad
Winner: Steven Sagal
Winner: Dicks
Winner: Paddy Mills
Winner: Basketball Jones
Winner: Crane shot
Winner: Good
Winner: Girls
Winner: Roast beef
Winner: Thanksgiving meals
Winner: Fuck the world
Winner: Hunter S Thompson
Winner: A semen stain
Winner: Not cannibalism
Winner: Underage virgin olive oil
Winner: Shannon
Winner: Peanut butter
Winner: Nadir
Winner: Once you pop the fun don't stop
Winner: Death
Winner: One percent milk
Winner: Jungleland by Bruce Springsteen
Winner: Get rich or die trying
Winner: Hitler
Winner: Tuberculosis
Winner: Have your mom call The Human Fish later
Winner: Chris Gethard
Winner: Slurpies
Winner: Rob Malone
Winner: Rabbits
Winner: Random Andrew
Winner: Human Fish is not ready
Winner: Chris Christie
Winner: Random Andrew
Winner: Martial law
Winner: Neither
Winner: Forest Whitaker
Winner: Sky Mall magazine
Winner: Low riders
Winner: Subway the restaurant
Winner: Creamed air
Winner: Four Burgers, Boston, Massachusetts
Winner: Doves
Winner: The Romans
Winner: Awakenings
Winner: Manhattan Cable Access
Winner: The Outernet
Winner: Glen Rice
Winner: Apple sauce
Winner: Broccoli sauce
Winner: Sam Kinison
Winner: The Count of Monte Cristo
Winner: Harry Nilsson
Winner: Christopher Reeve
Winner: Jay-Z
Winner: Hurricanes
Winner: Random
Winner: Come up with an answer to the question
Winner: True
Winner: Right
Winner: Cha-cha-chaaaaaa
Winner: Men Behaving Badly starring Rob Schneider
Winner: Salt and olive oil
Winner: Germ warfare
Winner: Win
Winner: Human Fish's testicles
Winner: Newport cigarettes
Winner: Bob Dylan
Winner: Jerry Orbach
Winner: Hair
Winner: The Knicks/Nicks
Winner: Ukuleles
Winner: Sand
Winner: Joey Buttafuoco
Winner: Werther's Originals
Winner: Long Island
Winner: Carpets
Winner: Black and White Television
Winner: Steve Martin Anywhere
Winner: The Ducks
Winner: Traffic Cones
Winner: Whirlwinds
Winner: Freedom
Winner: No winner "too emotional to answer"
Winner: The Sky
Winner: Raw Dog
Winner: Watership Down
Winner: Frozen
Winner: Mice
Winner: Tony Randall
Winner: Chairs
Winner: They Renewed Ballers
Winner: Howard Hesse
Winner: Greeks
Winner: Eastern Parkway
Winner: Ice Cream
Winner: A Very Fat Man
Winner: Sausage Rolls
Winner: Chips
Winner: Andrew Lloyd Webber